


Good Enough

by MissTangle



Series: Whumptober 2018 [1]
Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Benji whump, Benji/Ethan if you squint, Blood Loss, I feel like this is what you'd do if your best friend was in this situation, I write them really soft okay?, I wrote it as friendship, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Stabbing, Whumptober 2018, also I'm kinda new to tagging so let me know if there's anything else I should add, for safety however I will tag it, this title is also real pretentious and may change later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 15:26:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16161662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissTangle/pseuds/MissTangle
Summary: In which Benji gets stabbed on a mission and Ethan must get him to safety before it's too late.





	Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! Happy Whumptober! I'm really excited to share this. It took me forever to write, so hopefully it's at least decent. I've never written for Mission: Impossible before, but I just love Benji so much that I knew I had to take advantage of this challenge and torture him a little. So many of the prompts fit in so well with what he's already gone through in the movies anyway.
> 
> I did a lot of research and whatnot on stab wounds and the symptoms of blood loss, but I'm sure I still probably made some mistakes and this is probably not how you should handle this scenario. I know virtually nothing about the medical profession or any of the things that go along with it, so my apologies for anything I've screwed up!
> 
> Now without further ado, I present to you Whumptober 2018 Day 1: Stabbed!

Benji may have spent the larger part of his time with the IMF safely nestled behind a computer screen, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t hold his own well enough in a fistfight. Maybe not win a fistfight, per se, but at the very least last long enough for backup to arrive -- assuming that whoever he was up against didn’t have any sort of specialized skills.

This was not one of those times.

The guy Benji was facing had pulled a knife, complicating matters a little more than Benji was comfortable with. He was doing his best to avoid injury, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep up. He just hoped that Ethan would take out his own opponent soon and come to his aid.

Ethan did make quick enough work of his attacker, and together they took out Benji’s assailant in no time. Ethan studied the fallen man for a moment before turning to Benji, snappy one-liner already prepared.

The words died on his tongue.

Benji was deathly pale. His eyes were unfocused, staring off into nothingness. Ethan felt his heart rate rise again at the sight. Benji occasionally had bad reactions to situations like this, sudden existential crises and the like, but this seemed different. Something was wrong.

“Benji, you okay?”

Benji didn’t respond, didn’t even show any signs of having heard him. Ethan stepped closer, eyeing him up and down, checking for injuries. It didn’t take him long to spot the blood.

“Damn it, Benji.”

Ethan pressed his right hand over the stab wound in Benji’s side, reaching out his left hand to gently cup Benji’s face. His skin was clammy under Ethan’s fingers, but the contact finally seemed to stir Benji out of his trance. His eyelids fluttered rapidly as he tried to focus. “Ethan?” His voice was weak, thin, but it was there and that was good enough.

Ethan leaned his forehead against Benji’s. “Yeah, Benji. It’s me. Listen, you’re gonna be okay, alright?” He pulled back and slowly lowered Benji to the ground, taking care not to jostle him too much and worsen the bleeding. It was bad enough already.

Hand still pressed against the wound, Ethan quickly let the rest of the team know the situation over comms and had them prepare for a quick getaway. There was nothing Ethan could do for Benji here. Their only chance was whatever basic first aid Ethan could administer after the rendezvous and a timely arrival to someplace Benji could get professional medical care.

Now Ethan just had to figure out how to get Benji to the rendezvous point.

He was in no state to walk, that much was certain. Ethan was going to have to carry him. He didn’t particularly like the idea, since it meant that he wouldn’t be able to keep pressure on the injury, and he didn’t have much faith in Benji’s ability to do it himself. That was the only option he could come up with, though, and he wasn’t sure Benji could afford the time it would take him to figure out a better alternative.

Having settled on a plan of action, Ethan set to work. With no better option apparent, he pulled off his shirt and folded it neatly before placing it over Benji’s wound. He then caught Benji’s hand and put it over the fabric, instructing him very firmly to hold that there, waiting until Benji slowly nodded and applied just a little pressure before letting go. Now he put his hands on either side of Benji’s face, carefully, with just enough force to hold his head up so Ethan could make eye contact. He tried to ignore how the warmth in Benji’s eyes had dulled and how it made his heart twist in pain.

“Alright, Benji, we’ve gotta get you out of here.” He spoke gently, knowing it was imperative to keep Benji calm. “You can’t walk like this, so I’m going to carry you, alright?”

“Okay.” Benji’s voice was paper thin now, barely audible. Ethan simultaneously thanked whatever higher power might be out there that Benji was still able to respond and cursed said higher power that Benji didn’t even have the strength to argue. Benji was the kind to insist he could handle it himself, desperate to prove himself a worthy field agent even after all these years and all they’d been through together. He’d almost always relent in the end, but seeing him accept help without so much as a sigh worried Ethan even more.

Ethan carefully gathered Benji against his chest, one arm behind Benji’s shoulders, the other beneath his knees. He stood up as slowly as he could, trying to keep Benji as still as possible. Ethan stood still for a moment, checking to make sure Benji was at least making some sort of effort to keep his wound covered.

Benji was trying his best, anyway. Even through all the fog and the pain and the confusion clouding his brain, he knew Ethan had asked him to hold that there and he would do anything that Ethan asked, always, because it was Ethan that had asked and if Ethan had asked then it had to be done, it was absolutely necessary, and Benji would always try his best for Ethan…

Lost in looping thoughts, Benji leaned his head against Ethan’s shoulder. He liked this, he thought, being held by Ethan. He was fairly certain the circumstances were bad, and he wasn’t sure he’d still like it if he could think clearly, but for now he was content enough to let Ethan carry him off to wherever Ethan saw fit to go.

It was warm there in Ethan’s arms, and Benji was so cold. He tried to curl closer to Ethan, closer to his warmth. He was tired, he realized, his energy gone, his eyelids heavy. It was the kind of tiredness that ran deep, that settled in your bones and weighed you down until you gave in to it. Benji let his eyes close, more than happy to give in. After all, he was sure Ethan had everything under control…

“Benji!” Ethan’s shout startled Benji out of his drifting. “You have to stay awake, okay? Please.”

“Sorry…” Benji’s voice sounded strange to his own ears, the word slurred, unclear. It was then that it occurred to him that there was something probably wrong with him. He hadn’t been able to put the pieces together before, and he honestly couldn’t remember what had happened before Ethan talking to him on the ground, what had landed them in this situation. It was clear enough now that it had been something bad, and that it had happened to him, and now here was Ethan trying to save him once again, except this time maybe it was worse because Benji knew that he was already losing.

“Ethan. Ethan.” Benji could hear the desperation in his voice. His mind was reeling, wrapped up in fear and panic and guilt and oh God I’m really dying this time. He felt detached from his body in a way that he knew wasn’t good, he was losing control, he was slipping away. He could hear Ethan calling out for him, but it sounded distant, so much further away than the short distance between them. Benji strained to get control of himself, even if it was just for a few seconds, struggled to gather up all the right words and say them clearly, because they were words he had to say, words he needed Ethan to hear.

And then, for a moment, everything was clear. His vision, his head, his voice, everything. Benji could see Ethan then, see his bright eyes so full of fear, fear that Benji knew he’d caused. In that one precious moment before he tumbled away, staring into the eyes of the man he’d managed to let down yet again, Benji found the strength to say what he wanted.

“I’m sorry, Ethan.”

~~~

Ethan sat slumped in one of those ridiculous uncomfortable hospital chairs, every sense attuned to the man in the bed next to him. The doctors had said they’d gotten Benji there in the nick of time. They assured Ethan that Benji was out of the woods now and would be well on the road to recovery once he woke, but Ethan didn’t dare to hope yet. Not until he could talk to Benji himself.

Ethan held Benji’s hand loosely in his, drawing circles slowly on the back with his thumb. The last words Benji had said to him echoed through his head on repeat, making his chest ache a little more each time. It hadn’t even occurred to him that Benji would blame himself for this, though Ethan supposed it should have. It was just like Benji to do so, always convinced he could have done better. Now a small unpleasant voice in the back of Ethan’s mind kept reminding him that if Benji blamed himself for getting stabbed and nearly bleeding out on a mission, there were probably plenty of worse things he was carrying guilt around for, too.

The thoughts circled through Ethan’s mind like the circles he traced on the back of Benji’s hand, repetition brought on by worry with no other way to be expressed. He just wanted Benji to be awake already, or better yet, out of this hospital and far away from here, somewhere Ethan knew he’d be safe. Hell, even being huddled in the back of a van on their way to pull off yet another insane world-saving miracle would be preferable to this. At least then Ethan would still have a chance to protect Benji.

At least then Benji wouldn’t be hurt.

Ethan screwed his eyes shut at the thought and squeezed Benji’s hand.

Benji squeezed back.

Ethan’s eyes flew open and he turned to look at Benji, who returned his gaze with tired but clear eyes. They studied each other for a moment, and then Ethan spoke, words tumbling out before he could even think about them.

“I’m sorry too, Benji. I’m so sorry. For everything.”

Benji offered him one of his small, sad smiles, one that Ethan knew Benji used to hide all his pain for everyone else’s sake. The ache in Ethan’s chest worsened, so he kept talking, trying to ease the pain for both of them.

“No, Benji, I mean that. This wasn’t your fault, okay? If anyone’s to blame, it’s me. You wouldn’t have even been in the field that night if I hadn’t asked for you to come with me, but I did, because you’re an excellent agent and a great friend and I know you’ll always have my back. And I’ll always have yours, alright? I’ll always be there to help you out, and don’t you ever think it’s a burden on me to do that.”

Benji looked away at the end of Ethan’s spiel, eyelids fluttering rapidly. Ethan turned away too, finding that his own eyes had become a bit misty. He looked around for something to distract himself, but to no avail. In the end his gaze returned to his hand, still holding Benji’s, their fingers loosely intertwined.

He tightened his grip. Benji did the same.

They stayed like that for a long time.


End file.
